How to Disagree With Your Boss--The Right Way

You won't always agree with your boss. In fact, there are times you'll strongly feel that he or she is flat out wrong. In this situation, people usually do one of two things: They stew about it silently, or they disregard the boss's directives and do something their own way.

Neither of these options is a good one. One is bad for your health, the other is bad for your career. Learning how to disagree with someone, especially a higher-up, is essential in the workplace. But how you present your differing opinions and ideas matters. In fact, the key to disagreeing with your boss is to do it without being disagreeable. Here's how:

• Watch your language: Avoid saying "I disagree" or "You're wrong," and don't preface your argument with the word "but." Instead, use the word "suggest," as in "May I suggest an alternate approach?"
  
  
  

  

• Count to ten: If your boss has done something that makes you angry or truly upset, don't say anything at that moment--especially in front of other people. And don't fire off an email while you're still feeling emotional, either. Wait until your initial outrage has passed, then ask your boss if you can talk to him or her privately.
  
  
• Evaluate your motives: Is this all about you? Are you only saying something because you're irritated? This is ineffective because at that point your goal is not to offer constructive criticism, but to cause conflict. Before you say anything, ask yourself, "What am I really trying to accomplish?"
  
  
• Get off on the right foot: If you do decide to challenge your boss, start the meeting by asking the boss to clarify what he or she wants to achieve. See if you can get him or her to see the error of their ways on their own. Say your boss asks you to complete some task that can't be done. Ask questions that will lead him to that conclusion. This makes the issue more about the process and less about you being unwilling to do what you were asked to do. If that doesn't work, paraphrase what you're being told, then use that information to introduce an alternate plan: "You said you want to accomplish X, Y and Z, correct? I'm not sure I understand how that's going to work, so could we consider an alternate solution?"
  
  

  

• Present the facts: The more you can support your case, the more persuasive you'll be. For example, if your supervisor wants your staff to do daily status updates instead of weekly, but you know daily reports will take up too much time, have some numbers and anecdotes to prove your point. Giving your boss facts also gives him the power to change his mind without appearing indecisive.
  
  
• Focus on the company: Instead of talking about how the boss's decision affects you personally, indicate how both choices will impact the organization. Be as non-judgmental and objective as possible.
  
  
• Be a gracious loser: Your boss may listen to every word you say, then fail to change her mind. You may have to agree to disagree--and say so. This demonstrates that you understand that your boss has the authority to make final decisions, but that you also understand that voicing your opinion is good for the company.
  
  
• Be willing to accept a no: Ultimately, though, your boss is the one in charge. If your supervisor disagrees with you, and will not change what you are asking to be changed, you will have to live with it. That means not complaining to your co-workers about it, or going above your boss's head. The exception is if you see health, safety or other violations that your boss is uninterested in fixing. In such a case, you may have to press your case further up the chain.

Disagreeing with your boss can be tricky--it can be seen as criticizing, and nobody likes to be criticized. If you take a respectful, rational approach to this touchy situation, you'll communicate better. And while you may not get your way, at least you're establishing the right kind of relationship with your manager.